Many parents say that the best policy in the education of children is honesty. Nevertheless, regularly resort to lies, to exert influence on the behavior and emotions of their offspring. The parents are able to scare their children invented various troubles that happen to them or children themselves, if the children do not behave in the desired way.
Gail Heyman (Gail Heyman), psychologist at the University of California, Diem Luu (Luu Diem), a graduate of the same University and Kang Lee (Lee Kang) from the University of Toronto, Canada, decided that research on the topic of parental lying is receiving too little attention, and tried to fill in the blanks. To this end, in the framework of two related studies questioning American parents on the subject of whether they are lying to their children – whether it’s to ensure the required behaviour or for any other purpose. Many parents admitted they had told their children that they will something bad happen if they don’t go to bed on time, or not eat everything served them to the table. For example, one of the mothers told me how she talked to her child what he sat down to not eat all that he poured, his face will pop out pimples. Other parents confessed that he come up with all sorts of magical creatures.
Researchers also interviewed students, asking them to remember whether they lied to the parents. The results were similar: parents lied to their children, even if they themselves have argued that lying is unacceptable. “We were surprised to see how often it turns out that parents lie to their children, says Professor Lee. – Moreover, even those parents who are more likely to promote honesty in dealing with people, their own children regularly lie”. Although Professor Heiman aware that sometimes a lie is more appropriate truth. “Talking to a two year old that you don’t like it, the picture is simply tough,” she admits. However, Heyman encourages parents to consider possible alternatives before granting the child a lie.
“Sometimes children behave in a manner that would create trouble, or to serve as a source of threat for themselves, says Heyman. – Usually in such cases, parents have resorted to many means, including lies to achieve from children of complaisance. Solving the problems of today, they don’t think about the consequences of lying for the faith of the children that honesty is a value”. The results of this study, Heiman and planning to do another job, furthering their research. They want to explore the implications of the falsity of the parents. Whether it confuses the children? Undermines their trust in adults?